You Know You're a Parent When

I spend a lot of time thinking about all of the things I say and do now that I'm a mom that never would have come out of my mouth or happened before parenthood. I've decided to share these instances in small, quick "You Know You're a Parent When" posts, but here's a list of some of the things that have happened to me so far that make me giggle.


You Know You're a Parent When...

1. You can brush your teeth, change your contacts, make an entire meal, brew a pot of coffee, put on your makeup, and get completely dressed...with one hand.

2. You are walking out the door, baby in tow, and you realize there is poop on your shirt. Instead of rushing inside to change your shirt, you shrug and hope the Tide Pen will do the trick when you reach your destination.

3. You find yourself singing to "Yo Gabba Gabba" at the top of your lungs in the car, when you realize the kid's been asleep for 15 minutes.

4. You tell your husband you have to go potty.

5. You take a bite of your dinner and exclaim "Yum yum!"

6. You don't even know the real words to LMAFO's "Sexy and I Know It" but you sure can belt out the Elmo version.

7. You sway. Even when you're not holding a baby. Like at work when you're talking to co-workers, and they wonder why they feel sea-sick when they talk to you.

8. You have a song for every routine thing you do. Like the tubby song. Or the socks and shoes song. Or the wash your hands song. And you find yourself singing them out loud in public, even when your kiddo isn't with you.

9. You wear a baby monitor on your hip. Because, really, what's sexier?

10. You get slapped in the face, bit on the arm, headbutted, and pinched, but you still can't resist smooching that perfect little face when they look at you and say "Sowwy Mumma."

This gig makes me laugh. Every single day.

What are some of your "Wow, I'm a parent" moments?

Toddlers and Television

When you have children, there's a long list of things you "shouldn't" do. Don't give them a pacifier in the first week. Don't react every time they cry. Don't put them in their crib when they're newborns. Don't give them a bath every night. Don't let them watch TV.

Guess what? I've done every single one of them. And you know what? My kid isn't damaged in the least. In fact, I have to say, she's pretty damn smart.

The point of today's post isn't to demean or put down any other person's parenting style. In fact it's quite the opposite. As I talk about how we use television in our house, I encourage parents who struggle with the "do's" and "do not's" of parenting to do what works for them, in their house, with their individual children.

I'm warning you, this will be a brutally honest post, so if you are squeamish towards moms and dads that do things in their own way, I urge you to stop reading here.

My child watches television. She watches it almost every day. While we try to limit it to 30 minutes, max, occasionally she'll watch up to an hour of tv. Recently a report came out that said that children under two should not get any screen time at all. Of course this created an internet flurry of worried parents wondering how in this day in age they could re-arrange their lives so that their kids avoid the screen completely. While I'm not trying to de-bunk the research done by any organization regarding children and television, I am advocating for parents to know their children and know if television is right for them.

Warning - this is about to get a tad braggy.

Molly is 17.5 months old. Her vocabulary is above average for her age. She is incredibly social. She understands and follows directions regularly. As parents, we do not feel that a little television is going to hinder her development.

Here are the four ways we use TV in our house:


1. As an Educational Tool
One of my favorite things to do is watch TV with Molly on my lap. We sing, we clap, we dance - television gets her EXCITED! There is a segment on Yo Gabba Gabba (her favorite show) called the "Dancy Dance." Famous people, like Tony Hawk, Elija Wood, and the band Sugarland join the characters and come up with their own simple dance moves which they teach the characters and all do together. My jaw dropped to the floor a few months ago when Molly began to correctly do the "Chippy Chippy Chomp" along with her tv friends. Over the past few weeks she's began playing along with DJ Lance as he jumps, claps, "raises the roof" and spins around. She points to doggies, kitties, and babies, and she sings along to the Elmo theme song. She's learning to be a mover and incorporate dance and music into her life. Are there other ways to have this happen? Sure - we sing and dance without the tv all the time, but this is another means that truly speaks to her.

2. As a Babysitter

Gasp!! I said it! Any parent who allows their child to watch tv and swears up and down that it has never ever been used as a babysitter, even for a few minutes, is lying to your face. Sometimes it just makes life easier. Our mornings are very hectic (as they are for most families). One of us showers while the other has breakfast with Molly. Then we switch, and the non-showering parent gets her dressed. Then she grabs her blanket, her doggie, her milk, and her rocking chair, and settles in for an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba while we run around pulling together lunches, walking the dog, getting ourselves dressed, pounding a cup of coffee, and eventually sprinting out the door. For us, it's necessary, and for her, it literally is the highlight of her morning. (Really - you should hear her squeal as her Gabba friends come on the screen!)

3. As Quiet Time

Have you ever just wanted to crawl under a blanket, lay on the couch, and watch TV? Well, so does my kid. Kids are BUSY. They're loud, they run around, their brains are working overtime trying to just take in every little thing in this new world around them. And sometimes that makes them tired or cranky - just like you, and just like me. When Molly needs quiet time, she reads books, or she watches TV. It helps her to re-charge, and it makes her a happier person.

4. As Bonding Time
How many times have you taken your kids to their favorite playground, or made them their favorite meal? As parents, the greatest feeling we have is doing something we know our kids love. I absolutely love sitting down for a segment of Elmo's World with Molly, and on my sleep-in mornings, she and Daddy hang out in the basement in front of the big screen and watch Gabba or Fraggle Rock. All we need is that one look or big hug that says "Wow Mom, wow Dad, thanks for doing this with me." We snuggle and sing, and sometimes, that 30 minutes in front of the tv together is really, really special.

As I said before, you need to do what works for you and your family.  This works for us, and tv time can be a really beneficial and special time in our house, along with story time, meal time, and play time.

How do you use television with your kids? Share your ideas. It's a judgement free space. 

Our Dinner Scare

Last night I had quite a scare at home. Jim was at class, so it was just me and Molly hanging out together for dinner. We had pulled chicken and cucumbers, both of which Molly has eaten before without any problem.

At one point, late in the meal, she put a whole cucumber slice in her mouth. She's a good eater, and chews well, so I told her to be careful and watched her closely. Because I watched her closely I noticed her eyes get large, her mouth open up, no sound come from her throat, and her skin start to turn purple. Because I let her have an entire cucumber slice, my baby was choking.

I panicked hard. I remember screaming "No, no, no Molly, NO, NO, NO" and I swiped my finger down the back of her throat. The piece was down there quite a ways, and was most definitely blocking her airway. Luckily it was easily removed, and I crumbled in a heap on the floor crying and rocking my baby girl. I have never in my life been so terrified, and even as I write this hours later, I'm tearing up.

I'm not writing this to be scolded for giving my child a piece of food that was obviously too large for her. I'm writing it because I think that as our kids get older, we start to get more comfortable, and begin to forget some of those safety measures we were so anal about in the first year or two of their lives. Once they get the hang of it, things like eating, or climbing, or running become such a normal part of our days, and we forget that our kids are still little, and not fully capable of taking care of themselves. And while cuts and bruises are bound to happen, it doesn't take much for something routine to become quite serious quite quickly.

My husband associated it with riding a motorcycle. He says the motorcycle becomes deadly when you stop riding it like a motorcycle, when you take it for granted and forget the dangers that come with riding. Don't take your kiddos independence for granted, and don't forget they are still kiddos. I'll be watching with a much closer eye after last night.

Learning to Discipline

I remember when Molly was a newborn. People would always tell me "don't worry, it'll get easier." Today I'm looking at those people like they are freaking crazy. Sorry new moms, I hate to break it to you, but it does NOT get easier. Does it get more fun? YES! But easier? No way. Yes, you have a lot of sleepless nights with newborns, and the dreaded "witching hour" every evening. But then they become mobile. At first it's just a roll-over and you need to make sure they aren't on anything high or near something dangerous. Then it's the crawl, and you need to keep your not-so-babyproofed-because-this-snuck-up-on-us house in order and your eyes on them all the time. Then the walking starts and they no longer want to sit or be held in public because, hey mom! I can walk! When they are newborns, man it is EASY. I watched more Grey's Anatomy than I care to admit. Now I've lost 20lbs, run around all day, and hope my kid doesn't stick her finger in a light socket, because I'm sure that like, next week, she'll be tall enough to do it.

My battle right now is with discipline. From day one, I have been very blessed to have a happy child, and she still is one. But she's starting to push it. With her grandparents and at school, she's an angel. Dad gets a bit of attitude, but mom, mom's the clear winner. I get hit. I get my hair pulled. I get my sweet lovable laughing child turned she-devil as she thrashes in my arms and her high chair. Where, I ask you, WHERE did this child come from?

It's not all the time, but often enough that I'm starting to realize a hard, cold fact - my kid is becoming a bit spoiled. Whine a little - do you want a snack? Cry really hard - oh I'll hold you and we'll sing. She's on to me.

Fundamentally, I get discipline. I was a high school teacher and you can't be a high school teacher without understanding the very fine balance between friendship and authoritarianism. I know when it is obvious she's just wailing for attention that I need to ignore her and she will stop. But it is HARD. Today, while she played me a fool while laying her head on my shoulder and patting my back just so I wouldn't put her in the exersaucer, I stood there bawling my eyes out because I am so scared of disappointing her or making her hate me. And yes, I know, this is how kids become spoiled and parents become walked on like a New York City sidewalk.

I try to remind myself that it actually is a good thing when she acts out. She has feelings. She has emotions. She's smart enough to know what's going to force a response for me. She's developing which is exactly what we want her to do. But doing what I need to do is so very hard for me.

So, fellow moms, what tips do you have? Not tips on how to handle the discipline with your child, but how to handle YOURSElF when disciplining. Do you walk into the other room and cry like I do? Do you stare into their eyes as they look at you with hatred and sing your favorite song about the Caribbean and think of margaritas? How do you handle yourself when you know you have to do what's best for your child and hardest for you?

And please, don't tell me it'll get easier. :)

Being Molly's Mom - Her Fall Photoshoot!

They say that when you become a parent, time suddenly moves at warp speed. I'm starting to understand the truth behind this statement. It feels like yesterday when we were at the hospital holding our brand new baby girl. She was so tiny, and perfect, and I will never, ever forget the feeling of having her sleep on my chest those first few nights, or watching my husband be so very comfortable having her in his arms.

A few weeks ago I decided to take Molly out for a little photo shoot..just she and I. I knew it would be my last chance before the snow hit to get her in her adorable fall outfits, so we headed up to the park one chilly afternoon. She was a bit on the serious side, but I was thrilled at how well she did without anyone there to help me rein her in, and it also hit me how quickly the time has flown. My brand new baby girl now walks, talks, plays, laughs, and gives loves. Just when you think your heart can't get any more full, you have a child, and you watch your child grow, and your heart just grows and grows with it. There is nothing in the world like parenthood.

Here's my Molly last fall, on the same weekend, in her monkey Halloween costume:

And here she is, one year later...dare I say, all grown up and ready to conquer the world.

There is nothing better in the world than being a mom.

See more photos from our shoot on my photography blog.

Keeping it Organized - A Simple Fix

Yes, I know I've been absent lately. Let me put the last two and a half weeks together for you with one simple picture:

No, that is not really me. But yes, that is how I've been feeling.

I've been stressed. I love all of the aspects of my life, but sometimes when they all pile up at once, it gets to be a lot. My days start at 5am, and most days I literally don't stop moving until I crawl into bed at 10pm. Here's a sample of a typical weekday for me and Jim:

5:00am -Wake up. Wake the baby, feed the baby her bottle, shower, do hair, get dressed, feed baby breakfast, clean kitchen while baby eats, walk dog, feed dog, feed cat, change baby, pack car, leave house at 7:15. Drop baby off, go to work. Work hard until 4:30. Pick baby up, come home, walk dog, make dinner, eat dinner, feed dog dinner, play for 45 minutes, give baby bottle, tubby time, put baby to bed. Jim studies. Kristina edits/manages photo business. 10:00pm - turn off computer, close text books, brush teeth, crawl into bed, collapse.

Man, that's exhausting just to read.

When life is crazy, things stack up, and you live in a tiny 960 square foot ranch with a husband, baby, 80lb dog, and cat, you have to find ways to keep life together. For me, our lack of space is a real thorn in my side. There is ALWAYS something in my way. And in a small space, you have to have small things. A small kitchen table. Small countertops. Little floor space. Staying on top of the clutter is key, and is something I've really struggled with since Molly came along. There just hasn't been as much time as there used to be.

A few weeks ago we were at Target, and I stumbled upon two small things that have made a huge difference, in both my stress level, and the clutter.

Our house, sadly does not have a mudroom. Instead, you walk directly into the kitchen. Consequently, the mail and all of our junk from the day, goes directly on the table. I picked up this really cute mail sorter, and it has made such a difference. Each day we get the mail, and it immediately is sorted into my pile, and Jim's. We are each responsible for our own slot, and mail is no longer lost in the mix, forgotten about, and best of all, is no longer on the table.

I got a bit crafty and made fun "K" and "J" labels for the slots in each pocket.

The organizer is placed on the wall in the kitchen, just as you walk into the house. This way it's easy to remember to use it, and since we walk by it so often, the things in there are not forgotten.

I also picked up this really fun magnetic organizer for the fridge. It's dry-erase so you can use the slots for whatever you'd like. I always have piles of things on top of the fridge that need to either be filed, or looked at later, so now they go into here. It's an easy way to organize the things that belong downstairs when we don't have time to go downstairs and file them.

This is just a start, but so far, my table has stayed clean, and the top of my fridge isn't overloaded with piles. It's funny how just a tiny change really can make a big difference in stress and time.

Turning 30

Today is my 30th birthday. The big 3-0. The Dirty Thirty. I've spent so much time dreading this day, and now that it's here, I've found myself really sitting back and thinking about all the successes I had in my 20s, and instead of being sad today, I've decided to celebrate, and embrace the next decade before me.

I remember exactly where I was when the clock struck midnight on my 20th birthday. I was in college, and a manager at the local Friendly's. I was in the back office, counting the drawer, and I remember tearing up when it was official that I was no longer a teenager. Little did I know that the next ten years would allow me to accomplish many of the things that at that time I wondered if I would ever get to experience. So, allow me to reminisce and even brag a bit as I think about the past decade of my life.

I lived in another country. Four months in Spain, and still to this day, the best four months of my life.

El Alhambra, Granada

I survived my 21st birthday (barely). Let's just say the picture for this one is left hidden.


I graduated college.

I got a real job.

I lived in the city.

I finally fell in love...with someone who loved me back. :)

I traveled to the west coast.

V. Sattui Winery, Napa California

I took students abroad..twice. Once to Quebec, Canada, and once to Madrid, Spain.

I got married.

Photo Credit - Amy Salerno

I went on a my dream honeymoon to the Caribbean.

I bought a house.

I got a dog.

Rowdy!

I photographed a wedding.

I had a baby.

I started my own business.

This list doesn't even mention the numerous crazy nights, silly moments, and ridiculous stories that will always cross my mind every now and again and make me smile. I think my 20s were pretty good to me. I can't believe I've hit 30 but I think my 30's will be wonderful in their own way.  I picture family time, watching my kids grow, enjoying time with my husband, and grown up girls nights with my girlfriends. I know bumpy roads are a part of any phase of life, but I'm excited to see what these next 10 years bring my way.

I'm officially a thirtysomething.

Under the Weather

My munchkin is sick. 

(Taken with my cell phone, hence the poor quality...I was a bit glued to the couch today!)

Every parent will tell you how heartbreaking it is when your baby is sick. Molly's had colds off and on throughout the winter months, and while yes, its been tough to see her not be 100% I haven't been wracked with anguish. It's winter and colds are to be expected. We've had our fair share of calls and visits to see the doctor, but overall her issues have been minor.

The drippy eyes however, started on Saturday. On Sunday she woke up with a cough. I didn't figure it was much more than what we've already been through this winter, until 1:30 this morning when she woke up and didn't go back to sleep. Her cry wasn't the normal, "hey I'm hungry" or "hey guys I'm just in a bad mood" cry, it was a "momma help me, I don't feel good" cry - the one that tugs so hard at your heartstrings that you yourself sit in the rocking chair with tears streaming down your own face because you know you can't make it better.

It was a long night. Finally the two of us ended up on the couch with her comfortable enough on my chest to sleep for an hour or so. A trip to the doctor this morning told us that we were experiencing our first ear infection.

For those of you with new little ones, here's what we learned from the doctor today:

• Ear infections often start with a common cold which gets worse quickly and clogs up everything, causing the bacteria to grow in the ear. 
• A sudden change in behavior such as a long fussy night, accompanied by a fever is often a sure sign of an ear infection.
• Babies over 6 months of age can have infant Motrin or Advil which is more effective than Tylenol in bringing down a fever.
• Since babies Molly's age still have yet to have several of their vaccinations, amoxicillian is often prescribed to help fight the bacteria. Older babies and kiddos (ages 3+ don't necessarily need the antibiotic as the ear infection will go away on it's own.
• Antibiotics can often wreak havoc on a child's digestive system. Using a powdered probiotic such as this can help prevent serious diarrhea, yeast infections, and thrust.

So, there's my Kristina M.D. lesson of the day. I'm quickly learning that Dr. Mom may be a very real term after all. Here's hoping my kiddo is back to her giggly, goofy self in just a few days.

The Red Sweater

My brother Peter asked me to send a few pictures to him of Molly so he can print and frame them. A few weeks ago he bought her this super cute red sweater, and asked if I had any pictures of Molly in it. I didn't, but couldn't resist the photo opp, so of course, I whipped out the camera. Here's my favorite shot from our mini-session. I can't get over how big she is getting!

Thanks for the new sweater Uncle Pete!

Meet the Crew

So I figure if you're going to be reading about my crazy little family, it might be nice to have a little info about each of us and a face to go with the name. So, let me introduce you to the cast of characters:

Jim

This is Jim, aka the hubby. 

Likes: beer, dogs, coffee, video games, rally car, mountain biking, sleep, food, music, computers. Oh, and Molly and Wifey too.

Dislikes: vegetables, shopping, republicans (no offense anyone), decaf coffee, and litter box duty.

Molly

This is Molly, aka the 5-month old, love of our lives.

Likes: pooping, eating, sleeping, naps on Dad, singing with Mom, eating the dog's nose, and staring at the kitty.

Dislikes: nothing. Life is ok for a 5-month old.

Rowdy

This is Rowdy, aka Roo, our 2.5 year old chocolate lab.

Likes: Dad, sticks, tennis balls, swimming, the p-a-r-k (shhhh don't say it too loud), eating, and pooping.

Dislikes: Mom (ok, it depends on the day), the kitty, the vacuum, and the Roomba.

Naboo

This is Naboo, aka the kitty.

Likes: being pet, eating food, bringing "gifts" upstairs from the basement (in the form of construction gloves and sponges), and mewoing in the dark.

Dislikes: plastic bags, being held, the dog, having her belly rubbed

Kristina

This is Kristina, aka Me.

Likes: photography, Molly, Hubby, crafting, shopping, reading, traveling, and wine.

Dislikes: pickles, intolerance (yes, I'm intolerant of intolerance), listening to people eat, grocery shopping, and cold weather.

So, that's us, that's the crew. I hope you enjoy our stories!