The Christmas Card that Never Was

Things were really crazy before Christmas. I wanted so badly to do a nice family photo for our Christmas card, but I quickly found myself running out of time and creative ideas. My best friend, and incredibly talented seamstress, Danielle from The Little Pink Peony had just made Molly a gorgeous infinity scarf, so I decided on a whim that a picture of my cutie kiddo in her new scarf and peacoat, would make for a perfect Christmas card.

I never ended up using the photo for the card, as I did find 15 minutes later on that week to set up a tripod and get a relatively normal looking photo of the three of us and our dog for a family picture. But I keep coming back to my five minute photo shoot with Molly in front of our neighbor's tree (because they totally would not have though it was weird to look outside and see me with my huge camera taking pictures of my kid on their lawn without permission) and laughing because the outtakes are so Molly being Molly, especially when she lets me take her photo.

Here are some of my favorite outtakes from our very quick December photo shoot.

The "Cheese" Face

The "Hey, What's Over There??" Face

The "I Can't Believe She is Making Me Wear This Dumb Headband" Face

The "Hey, Why the Heck Did We Leave that Gorgeous Light??" Face

The "You Know You Want to Give Me a Donut" Face

The "Pensive" Face

The "I'm Just Going to Stand Here and Be Cute" Face

And a few of my "normal" favorites. :)

I'm so lucky to have such an amazing kiddo, who is my most favorite model.

Baby Showers - What Parents Really Need

I received a text this morning from a good friend. She is not yet a mom, and is heading to a baby shower this weekend. Her question was simple - "can I bring non-registry items to the shower?" and I probably gave her way more of an answer than she ever wanted. Last year I put together a post about what new parents should think about when creating their baby registry, and while this is similar, this post aims to help those going to a shower who are not sure what they really should purchase to help out the new family. I know I look at showers very differently post-baby than I did pre-baby and it would have been helpful to truly know what new parents need so I could give a gift that was both useful and fun.

1. Buy something off of the registry.
It seems to be common sense, but almost nobody does it. Babies are so much fun to buy for. I used to walk into Babies R Us with every intention of purchasing something off of the registry and immediately I would hear every stuffed animal, cute baby blankie, and rubber duckie call my name as I entered the store. It's important to remember that there is a reason for the registry. Yes, nail clippers and snot suckers are a bit on the boring side, but they are necessary for new little babies and all of those necessary items really add up for expecting parents. Even a few little things off of the registry coupled with something fun can really help out.

2. Buy something for toddlers.
It's amazing how quickly the infant stage goes by. (I'm writing that for those moms who are in week 3 and feel like they will never ever sleep again). I had no idea how soon we would need sippy cups, baby spoons, toddler toys, and 18 month clothing. If the parents are first time parents they may not see the value of "older" gifts, but as they are scrambling at the last minute because their kid is ready for cereal seemingly overnight, they will be incredibly grateful as they remember they are already set up for the next stage.

3. Buy diapers - the size after the next size up.
I'll preface this by saying it's really helpful to know what brand diaper the parents are going to use since this can be personal preference. It's also helpful to know if they plan to cloth or use disposables. While our intention was to cloth, it just didn't happen for us and I'll never forget the day that our daughter went up to size two and I realized someone had given us an entire box of size two diapers. It was like Christmas. Diapers are really expensive and the longer you can help those parents go without adding that to their shrinking budget, the more grateful they are bound to be.

4. Buy something for mom.
By the time the shower rolls around, it is very likely that mom is starting to feel it. Her back hurts, she's starting to not sleep well, she's tired. At my shower, in the midst of all the cuteness, I opened up a gift certificate for a pedicure. I almost cried. I needed something that made me feel human so badly, and it was one of my favorite gifts that day.

5. Buy books.
A kid can never have enough books. We started reading to Molly every night at two months, and even at that little age, a picture book could calm her down. (Her favorite was Black on White by Tana Hoban - seriously, she would stop mid-scream to see the pictures). Help the parents to be ready to introduce reading early by giving books that they can read to their baby from the start. Some other favorites of Molly's in the first year were Little Hands Love, and Rainbow Colors Peekaboo.

And what should you avoid purchasing? I don't want to use the word "avoid" because I think if you know the parents would love it or really need something, you should buy it! But be aware that they will be oversaturated with things like baby blankets, hooded towels (this was a staple gift of mine pre-kids!), socks, and clothing. And while I personally cannot resist throwing in a cute outfit, I'm always sure to add something that I know they need from their registry, or something that I know they won't get much of.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is the fact that you are there for the couple and showing love to their child that you haven't even met yet. It was amazing feeling like Molly was already loved by so many people, and none of us had even met her.

Happy gifting!

"Me" Time

When you become a mother, the first thing to go out the window (besides your waist and ability to sleep past 5am), is your time to yourself. At first, losing your "me" time is a necessity. There is suddenly something else in your life that is more important than you. And while this will be true for the rest of your life, eventually, the need to take care of you returns.

As a mom, you are cursed with this phenomenon called "mom guilt." It's that awful feeling that you get when you take a shower and pray nobody comes in the bathroom, when you stay in bed five extra minutes even though the baby is awake, when you pee with the door closed and your toddler on the other side begging to join you, when you go to work and have to leave that amazing little person you love so much with a caretaker or family member, when you get frustrated because someone has been literally latched on to you all day long, when you decide to take the evening to watch tv instead of cleaning up the house and tackling the pile of laundry. You question any decision that allows you to take care of you, and if you're not careful, pretty soon, you forget how to take care of you all together.

Welcome to my life.

I have spent so much time over the past two and a half years taking care of everyone else. I spend my days running around like a crazy person, tackling multiple projects at once. I have had panic attacks as I worry that the 30 seconds I spend sitting on my bum could be better used sweeping the floors or just answering one more email. I've had my days planned down to the last second, stressing out if I take an extra two minutes in the shower, because then I need to retrieve those two minutes somewhere else in my day which means I probably should not take the time to make a proper lunch, and instead will quickly grab a slice of cheese and a quick drink of water. I've lost time just playing with my daughter because if those dishes don't get clean before she goes to bed the world just might end.

It's absurd. I'm losing my freaking mind. I'm over it.

I decided as we headed into the new year, that this would be the year I found my balance. It's a word that is coming up a lot lately. But more than finding my balance, it is about finding myself again. I've always been a bit uptight and a lot type A, but it's starting to cross a line. I'm missing out on the beauty of all of the amazing things around me - my daughter, my husband, my dog, my business, myself. To do this, there need to be rules (because I'm type A, and that just doesn't go away). Here is what I have been working on over the past month:

• Kiss the mom guilt goodbye (well, almost). It is OK if my husband gets up with our daughter. It is OK if I pee with the door closed. It is OK if I need to go to work. It is OK to go to the grocery store by myself. It is OK to ask for help.

• Take the night off. Last fall I found myself working 7 days and 7 nights a week. I never got to recharge, and I paid the price, and my family paid the price. I'm setting boundaries now while my work life is a bit slower in hopes that when my busy season picks up, a modified routine will be easier to adopt.

• Go to the gym. I went to the gym for the first time in 5.5 years this week. It was amazing. I never really loved the gym, but now I'm realizing that at the gym, nobody needs me, except for me. I can't read my email. I can't make a meal. I can't clean the house. I can't edit photos. I CAN listen to some awesome music, read a book, watch a video, and visualize myself getting skinny. I CAN be in my own head for an hour and truly 100% focus on what I need to do for me.

• Put down my phone. My phone plays such a huge part in feeling like I am being pulled in 100 directions. It beeps all.the.time. I'm going to tell you a secret - are you ready?? - if you don't look at Facebook for an hour, and if you don't respond to a client email in 5 minutes or less, nobody is going to die. True story.

• Play. I've realized how much I tell my daughter "in just a second..." "after I do so and so.." "I just need to do this one thing and then I'll come play..." The thing is, none of the other things I have to do is as important as playing with my daughter. Plus, she makes me laugh so hard it hurts, and that is good for my soul. Playing with her is "me" time.

• Hang out with my husband. We are both in graduate school. We are both parents. We both work full time. We have a million priorities, and for awhile we forgot to prioritize us. Spending time with my husband counts as "me" time. When we focus on us, and not the crazy that is all around us, we return to that silly happy we were when we first met 8 years ago, that silly happy we struggle to find between our insane class schedule, time with our daughter, house priorities, and work. When we are "on" he reminds me who I am and gives me the confidence to believe in myself as me and who I fundamentally want to be as a person.

It's a lot of goals, but with a big payoff. Moms out there - don't lose you. And when you realize it's happening, get it back. Because all of those things that pull you away from who you are are the things that need the awesome person you always have been. Take the time to find yourself because it IS about you, as much as you feel like it no longer should be.

My "Soft" Re-Opening

Yes, I'm alive.

What a ride the past 8.5 months have been. When I transitioned out of my full time job to running my own business, I had no idea how long it would take to truly find my balance. My last post was actually about balance, just a week after I started working for myself. Eight months later I am just now starting to find my groove, create some priorities, and finally be ready to blog again.

I'm going to consider this my "soft re-opening" to my blog. I'm not going to promote it, but I am going to make it a goal to write at least once a week as I try to re-incorporate personal blogging into my life. I'm excited to share my stories of parenthood, business ownership, and life in general, and I hope you all will jump back on board, as I complete this almost year long transition process.

Finding My New Balance

Today is the first day of my second week on my new job. I am officially a work-at-home mom, running my photography business, going to school to get my MBA, and of course, taking care of my little munchkin! You can read more about my decision on my photography blog. I'm still in shock that I am officially self-employed and I get to spend my time doing the things I love most. I feel so incredibly blessed and lucky.

As with most things in life, this transition is requiring me to consider balance. Balance is something I've struggled with for a long time now, which is why I felt the need to grow my business and work for myself. Working a 40 hour work week, running a business, taking care of a baby, a husband, a cat, a dog, and a house, will only last you so long before you break into a cold sweat every night and think you're going to have a heart attack. I know, because I was just about there.

One week in, and I'm realizing how much my life has already changed. Little things that I took for granted, like a schedule, or a work calendar, or my standard work outfits are all over the place now. Instead of having very little time to do the things I want to do, I have all the time in the world to do everything - and everything is a lot. My business is growing - as are my kiddo and the amount of reading I have to do for school. The last thing I ever expected was to feel overwhelmed by this change. I didn't expect to be more off-balance before becoming more balanced.

It's like cleaning the house - you start with something simple, and before you know it, the entire contents of that wretched junk closet are in your living room. It gets more organized eventually, but the room and the closet get a bit messier before they get cleaner.

I'm excited to find my new balance. I also know it will be a process, and may include a few more of those cold sweats before things become their new "normal." I do know though, that when I get there this change will be one of the best things I've ever done.

What's for Dinner? Crock Pot Lasagna

This weekend I had a photo shoot late in the afternoon. I knew there was a chance that I may not be able to make it back in time for dinner, and wanted to have something ready to go for my husband and kiddo. I needed a quick and easy crockpot meal, that required zero additional steps once everything was in the pot. Of course, I turned to Pinterest, and found a bazillion pins for crock pot lasagna. I've seen this before and turned my nose up to it, because really, who the heck makes lasagna in a crock pot? But I was desperate, so I threw it together, crossed all my crossables, and fully intended to pick up a pizza on the way home.

It was awesome. In fact, I'll say it was the best lasagna I've ever had. (Sorry mom). Slow cookers are great because they can be convenient, but are also wonderful because they give food so much more flavor. I even forgot the ricotta cheese, and it was still awesome. (By the way, if you ever do that - just double the mozzarella, parmesan, and egg, and add a little sauce to the mix to keep it moist). It's a quick cook in the crock pot, so this isn't a leave it all day meal, but if you need something quick and easy and will be gone for a few hours, this rules.

Crock Pot Lasagna

Photo Credit - Kraft Foods

Ingredients

• 1lb ground turkey or lean ground beef
• 1 jar pasta sauce (about 2.75 cups)
• 1 cup water
• 1.75 cups ricotta cheese
• 1.75 cups mozzarella cheese, divided
• 1/4 cup parmesan cheese, divided
• 1 egg
• 2 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
• 6 lasagna noodles, uncooked

Directions

• Brown meat in a large skillet and drain.
• Stir in pasta sauce and water, warm slightly.
• Mix ricotta, 1.5 cups mozzarella, 2 tbsp parmesan, egg, and parsley.
• Spoon 1 cup of meat sauce into slow cooker.
• Layer as follows - noodles (break to fit), cheese, sauce, noodles, cheese, sauce, noodles, sauce, cheese (or really, however you want to layer it). I topped it with more mozzarella and parmesan.
• Cover with lid. 
• Cook on low heat. This part will depend on your crock pot. The recipe calls for 4-6 hours, mine took about 3 hours.

Enjoy!

Source: Kraft Foods

Motherhood is Not a Competition

A few weeks ago I saw a quote on Pinterest. It read "Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids." Looking around my house with floors that haven't seen a mop in weeks, stainless steel that hasn't seen love in months, and an overflowing laundry basket, I re-pinned it. It made me feel better.

This morning I popped onto Pinterest (dangerous when you're in a time crunch, by the way). And saw the same quote. The "pinner" had captioned it with "This quote really pisses me off! I have clean floors, folded laundry, toys put away, family fed, clean bathrooms (most days anyway...) Does that make me a bad mom, or just good at time management and organization????"

Before I go any further, I need to say that the pinner, and fellow commenters are good friends of mine. They will read this post. I have SO much respect for them, and this post is in no way aimed at them directly.

The hair on my back went up. My pinning friends are stay-at-home moms. My working mom defense went on full alert. I'm good at time management and organization. I also work two jobs, work 7 days a week, and on weekdays, work anywhere from 12-15 hours, with travel thrown in. We do this and still barely make ends meet. I work my ass off, and yes, I have dirty floors, and yes, I am a good mom.

I hopped in the shower, fuming quite a bit at what I'd just seen, and I realized, this whole thing, this whole quote, this whole competition between mothers, is just freaking ridiculous. Of COURSE the quote made my friends angry. I saw a bumper sticker a few weeks ago that said "People who work hard, vote Republican." Being a very hard working democrat, I wanted to drive the car off the road. It hurt my feelings. So for my SAHM friends, who also work very hard on raising their kids and keeping their homes, I can see how the quote would make them feel that their clean floors and folded laundry makes them poor mothers. For the record, it's not true.

Why are moms so competitive?? Is it because we are incredibly insecure? Or is it because we are crazy control freaks who feel like the entire world needs to agree with our every move as parents and wives? I've never ever met a mom who doesn't have a little snark in them about the way another mom parents. I think some of it is jealousy (most days I would give anything to be able to have the time to be with my kiddo all day and have a cleaner house), but I think a lot of it is that we need to believe that what we are doing is the best possible thing for our children.

Newsflash mommies - it is. You do what is best for YOUR children, and YOUR family. You do what you NEED to do for YOUR children and YOUR family.

So, moms of the world (myself included), get off your high horses. It doesn't matter if you stay at home, work, breastfeed, bottle feed, co-sleep, baby wear, cry it out, ferber, schedule naps, play outside, or wear freaking wool in the summer and hide in a cave with bears. Stop being so damn defensive. Be happy with your choices, and respect others' choices. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourselves.

I've removed the dirty floors pin from my Pinterest page. I know my mom friends with clean floors, folded laundry and happy kiddos are just as good of a mom as those of us (SAHM and working moms) whose homes may not be so neat and tidy. In the end, it doesn't matter, and judging others for their parenting choices and housekeeping skills is just ridiculous. In the end, we all have one thing in common - we love our kids. Motherhood is such an incredible gift - embrace that you get to share this gift with other moms. It really would make this whole "mom world" much more enjoyable.